The Power of Positive Affirmations

You’re intelligent, loveable, beautiful and worthy. You’ve got this. Believe in yourself. They’re things that you probably say to yourself or to others on a pretty regular basis. When we’re looking for motivation, positive affirmations like these often come into play. They hype us up, help us feel better when we’re down and give us the pep talk we so often need on a bad day. In fact, so common are positive affirmations in our day to day lives that most of us don’t even realise that we use them, or the power that they can hold.

Positive affirmations might have a reputation as hippy dippy but we think that they really can do us the world of good. And the best thing about positive affirmations? They don’t cost a penny. Here we delve into the world of positive thinking and the power of affirmations.

What are Positive Affirmations?

Whether it’s hyping yourself up before a big meeting, giving you the motivation you need to make just one more km or just reminding yourself that you can get through the day, positive affirmations creep into your life more than you realise.

What is a positive affirmation?

Coined in the 80s by social psychologist Claude M. Steele, self-affirmation theory is the idea that we’re motivated by the idea that we are decent, capable human beings (1). When this view is challenged we, psychologists think, seek out positive affirmations as self-defence, helping us to maintain the view we have of ourselves as intelligent, attractive, professional, sporty or just a nice person. For example, when we fail a test we’ll tell ourselves that it was a blip. And when we start to feel the burn during a race we’ll pump ourselves up internally, our brain reminding our body that it’s fit and fast. Through doing this, we maintain our sense of self-worth, helping us to find stability even in a destabilising situation.

How we use positive affirmations without thinking about it

If you’ve ever been your own hype man you’ll know the positive effect affirmations can have on performance and self-esteem. But perhaps even more than we employ positive affirmations to help ourselves feel sure about who we are, we use them to bolster those around us. Just think about how well your kid performs when they’re told ‘I believe in you’. Or how much happier your dumped best friend can seem when you remind her ‘he wasn’t good enough for you anyway’. It’s these affirmations that we make without realising that tell us just how powerful they can be.

What makes a positive affirmation?

A positive affirmation that works is more than just a soundbite. Experts say that self-affirmation is about hacking into your psychology to find the things that make up your core belief system – the things that make you you (2). Which means that there’s no one-size-fits-all positive affirmation, it’s all about finding something that suits you. That’s not to say that the affirmation that makes you glow can’t be found typed over an Instagram image of a sunrise, it’s just important to learn what works for you might not be what works for others.

Do Positive Affirmations Really Work?

It’s the million dollar question. Can repeating a mantra really help you to perform better? Feel better? Be a better person?

What does science say about positive affirmations?

It may not sound like the most scientific of ideas, but research tells us that positive affirmations really do work. For example, one study famously found that copying out positive affirmations ahead of exams could improve students’ outcomes (3), even reducing the racial attainment gap by 40%. Studies in this area even confirm that the effects of positive affirmations can be much longer lasting than you might expect too (4). As well as helping people to do better, positive affirmation exercises have also been seen to help us feel better, with one small study showing that positive affirmations can be successful in reducing the unhealthy cortisol reaction to stress (5). Yet another study confirms that problem solving in stressful situations can even be improved through the use of positive affirmations (6).

Do positive affirmations work for everyone?

As with anything, positive affirmations can have a different effect on different people. And for some, positive affirmations simply don’t do the trick. While thinking positively can certainly help most of us to feel a little better when we’re down in the dumps or even to perform well when we’ve been having a wobble about our abilities, there are some circumstances which call for a deeper delve. When it comes to those deep rooted issues or conditions that hold us back from doing and being our very best selves it’s usually worth seeking the support of a therapist who can offer a complete program of improvement, often weaving positive affirmations in with other coping mechanisms and exercises.

When positive affirmations won’t work

If only it was as easy as simply repeating that positive thinking mantra every morning before work, ahead of a date or on those days when things aren’t going your way. Experts tell us that positive affirmations don’t simply work in a vacuum. Instead, making positive affirmations work for you requires action on your part. For example, when you’re facing stress telling yourself ‘I’m brave and I’m able to cope’ can certainly help to bolster you, however the affirmation is best paired with action – the thing that makes you able to cope. In this situation bravery might come from asking a friend, partner or colleague for help to spread a stressful load. The ability to cope, meanwhile, might mean taking more breaks, practising deep breathing or putting a more effective daily schedule in place. It’s not enough to just tell yourself you can, it’s vital to do as well.

How To Use Positive Affirmations in Your Life

Positive affirmations are a great tool for helping you to help yourself in many different parts of your life, from work to relationships to simply knowing who you are and what you need. So how do you work thinking positively into your life every day?

Personalise your positive affirmations for anxiety, relationships, stress, work and more

The internet is awash with affirmations. However, one stock quote won’t do the trick for everyone. That’s why it’s important to work on creating or finding affirmations that are right for your needs. Being specific works well and so it can help to ask others to assist. Ever feel like a terrible parent? Look back through old mother’s day cards and we’re willing to bet you’ll find something that can be repurposed. Perhaps ‘I’m kind and a great Fortnite partner’ or ‘I always try to do what’s best and I make the best spaghetti Bolognese’. Work not working out? Look back over old performance reviews. The result might be something like ‘I don’t need to work overtime to get things done’ or ‘I’m a great team player and it’s okay to lean on my colleagues’.

Make positive affirmations make sense

Whether your positive affirmation is straight off the internet or something you came up with yourself, what’s important is that it’s true to who you are and that you believe it. It’s all well and good repeating ‘I can cope with anxiety’ in the mirror every morning but what’s the point if you know you can’t? Change that affirmation to fit your personality. Perhaps ‘my anxiety doesn’t define me’ or ‘when anxiety strikes I remember to breathe’ works better. Additionally, it’s important to remember that positive affirmations aren’t the same as goals – you don’t strive to reach them, they’re simply truths about who you are right now. Instead of saying ‘I’m going to lose weight’, opt for ‘I’m capable of caring for my body’. And when you’ve made those affirmations it’s a good reminder to take steps to be true to them.

Practise positive affirmations every day

Just jotting down a positive affirmation on a post-it and sticking it to your desk or mirror isn’t enough. Say those statements out loud. Look yourself in the eye. Repeat it every day, over and over again. Say it in your head before a meeting, in the loo before an exam or in the mirror before a date. Make it part of your daily routine. Making a positive affirmation a reality is about practising what you preach, saying it like you mean it and taking action to back it up.

The Best Positive Affirmations for Everyone

Not sure where to start when it comes to making those affirmations? Here are just a few of our favourites, some of which might just strike a chord with you:

Positive affirmations for women

As women we tend to beat ourselves up over the smallest things. Forget that! Repeat after us and feel the power of positivity!

‘I am loved for who I am’: it’s all too easy to feel unlovable but we all know, deep down, that somewhere out there loves us, flaws and all. Remind yourself that you’re worthy of that love every single day.

‘I am capable of courage’: women are taught to be timid from childhood, but standing up for ourselves and what we believe is right is absolutely vital to our self-esteem. Tell yourself that you can be courageous and follow through with brave actions.

‘Am I good enough? Yes I am’: take a lead from the first lady of positive thinking Michelle Obama with a quote that reminds us all that we’re good enough, in work, at home, as parents and as wives.

Positive affirmations for kids

Get little ones thinking positively from a young age by repeating positive affirmations to them to bolster their confidence and pride.

‘Your best is always good enough’: kids tend to suffer by comparison so it’s important that they know that their best, not someone else’s is enough for you and for them.

‘Be yourself, everyone else is already taken’: any reminder that individuality is important is good for children who can’t help but want to follow a crowd. Who better to remind them but that true original, Oscar Wilde?

‘It’s okay to make mistakes: you know how crushing getting things wrong can be, especially when you’re small and those errors seem oh-so-big. Children need to know that mistakes aren’t the end of the world and a simple affirmation can drive that message home.

Positive affirmations for body positivity

It’s tough to be positive when you’re feeling dumpy or dowdy but you know deep down that it’s not all bad. Remind yourself of how great your body is every day with one of these affirmations.

‘A healthy body is a gift’: always looking for faults? Remind yourself how lucky you are to have a body that works as it should (most of the time) with a simply body positive mantra.

‘What I look like is not who I am’: you and I know that it’s what’s inside that counts, we just need to be prompted to keep it in mind sometimes.

‘I am not defined by _____’: whether it’s your weight, a scar, those wrinkles or pesky cellulite, that thing that frustrates you when you look in the mirror isn’t all that you are.

Positive affirmations for anxiety and stress

When you feel stressed, anxious or depressed it can be hard to see the wood for the trees. Positive affirmations aren’t a cure but they do tell you that you’re capable of overcoming hard times.

‘Inhale calm and exhale negativity’: when we’re stressed we often forget to breathe. Having this mantra at the forefront of your brain can help give you something to inhale and exhale for.

‘This too shall pass’: sometimes the old ones are the best. A reminder that the awful thing that’s happening isn’t forever is well worth keeping in your arsenal for tough times.

‘I am in control of my reactions’: how you deal with hard situations tells you and those around you just who you are. Reminding yourself that how you react is in your control can help you to think before you panic.

Sources:

1. https://dictionary.apa.org/self-affirmation-theory
2. https://www.washingtonpost.com/wellness/2022/05/02/do-self-affirmations-work/
3. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16946074/
4. https://ed.stanford.edu/sites/default/files/annurev-psych-psychology_of_change_final_e2.pdf
5. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/16262767/
6. https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0062593