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How to Share a Bed with a Duvet Hogger

How to Share a Bed with a Duvet Hogger

Chris HardyChris Hardy
January 17, 2025

Sharing a bed can be one of life’s greatest pleasures. There’s something inherently comforting about snuggling up next to someone, listening to the rhythmic sound of their breathing as you drift off to sleep. So romantic… However! This cosy scenario can quickly turn into a nightmarish battle for survival if your bed mate happens to be a duvet hogger.  

If you’ve ever woken up shivering in the dead of night to find your partner swaddled like a human burrito in all the available duvet, you’re not alone. Duvet hogging is an all-too-common problem, but fear not, there are ways to navigate these nocturnal negotiations and restore peace (and warmth) to your side of the bed. 

Understanding the duvet hogger 

Before we delve into strategies for cohabiting with a duvet hogger, it’s important to understand the psychology behind the behaviour. While some might assume duvet hogging is a deliberate act of selfishness, it’s often an unconscious habit. Many duvet hoggers are blissfully unaware of their nightly behaviour and might be just as perplexed as you are when they wake up wrapped in a cocoon of covers. If it is deliberate however, then some words need to be exchanged to say the least… 

Duvet hogging can stem from a variety of reasons. Some people are simply restless sleepers, and their thrashing about naturally leads to an uneven distribution of bedding. Others might hog the duvet because they’re colder than you and instinctively seek more warmth. And then there are those who, perhaps influenced by a subconscious need for security, feel comforted by the physical weight and enclosure of the duvet wrapped tightly around them. These folk are also often serial snugglers, and cuddle up for warmth wherever possible.  

Whatever the reason, identifying the root cause of your partner’s duvet hogging can help you approach the issue with empathy and understanding, essential ingredients for maintaining harmony in the bedroom

Communication is key 

Like many relationship challenges, the first step in addressing duvet hogging is open and honest communication. Rather than suffering in silence or resorting to passive-aggressive tugs-of-war in the middle of the night, have a conversation with your partner about the issue. Approach the topic with humour and lightness, rather than accusatory tones, remember, your partner probably doesn’t even realise they’re doing it! And if all else fails, then tug-of-war it is… It’s also really fun when organised! 

Try starting the conversation by sharing how you’ve been waking up cold or struggling to stay warm during the night; framing it as a shared problem rather than placing blame could help prevent defensiveness and encourage a collaborative solution.  

If your partner is receptive, you can both brainstorm ways to improve your sleeping arrangements, sometimes, simply raising awareness of the issue can lead to changes in behaviour. Your partner might become more conscious of their duvet-hogging tendencies and make an effort to keep the covers more evenly distributed. Again, hopefully.  

The double duvet solution 

One of the most popular and effective solutions to the duvet-hogging dilemma is the double duvet strategy. It’s common in Scandinavian countries and involves using two separate duvets on the same bed, this way, each person has their own designated duvet, eliminating the possibility of one person monopolising the covers. There is a reason why Scandinavian nations regularly top the happiest countries list, after all! 

Yes, it might seem unromantic to forgo a shared duvet, but couples may find that the double duvet solution actually improves their sleep quality and overall relationship satisfaction. You can still cuddle up before drifting off to sleep, but when it’s time to get down to the business of actually resting, you’ll both have the comfort of knowing your duvet will remain with you through the night. Sounds like bliss. 

Plus, with your own duvet, you can each choose the tog you want, and the type of bedding that suits your individual preferences. If one of you likes a heavy, warm duvet while the other prefers something lighter, or one of you is a DC fan and the other Marvel, then this method allows you both to sleep in comfort without compromising. Excellent!  

The tactical tuck-in 

If you’re not ready to commit to the double duvet system, then never fear! There are other, less drastic measures you can take. One tried-and-tested method is the tactical tuck-in. Before you get into bed, securely tuck the sides and foot of the duvet under the mattress, creating a snug cocoon that’s less likely to be yanked away in the middle of the night. Many hotels and, well, grandparents use this method of making beds, and if you’ve experienced it, you know just how difficult it can be to untuck the duvet. 

This approach can be particularly effective if your duvet hogger is prone to tossing and turning. By tucking in the duvet, you create a bit of resistance that can prevent the entire cover from migrating to one side of the bed. Of course, this method isn’t foolproof, but it can certainly help reduce the chances of waking up coverless.  

The weighted blanket alternative 

Another solution to consider is investing in a weighted blanket. While not exactly the same as a duvet, a weighted blanket can provide a similar level of warmth and comfort without the risk of it being pulled away during the night. Weighted blankets are designed to apply gentle, even pressure across your body, which can be incredibly soothing and help reduce anxiety. Like a full body hug. Which can’t be a bad thing.  

For duvet hoggers who crave that cocooned feeling, a weighted blanket might satisfy their need for security without stealing the covers from their partner. You could even pair a weighted blanket with a lighter duvet on top for added warmth. 

Keep a spare blanket handy 

Sometimes, no matter how well-intentioned your partner may be, the duvet hogging continues. For those inevitable nights when you wake up cold and duvet-less, it’s wise to have a backup plan. Fail to prepare, prepare to fail… Keeping a spare blanket within arm’s reach can be a lifesaver in these situations. 

Whether you drape it over the foot of the bed or keep it folded on a nearby chair, having a spare blanket ensures you won’t be left out in the cold. And who knows?! Over time, your partner might come to appreciate the spare blanket as well, leading to a more harmonious sharing of the bedding. Probably get two blankets to avoid confrontation. 

Embrace the humour 

Sharing a bed with a duvet hogger can definitely be frustrating, but keep it together! It’s important to try and maintain a healthy sense of humour about the situation. These little quirks and idiosyncrasies are part of what makes your partner and your relationship unique, so instead of letting the duvet hogging drive a wedge between you, try to see the funny side of things.  

Maybe try to make a game out of it too! Keep a tally of who wins the duvet war each night, or invent playful nicknames for your nocturnal alter-egos, The Duvet Bandit and The Coverless Crusader, perhaps? By approaching the issue with a light heart, you can turn a potential source of conflict into a shared joke. It’s worth a shot, right?!  

Pro tip: Try not to let the point scoring get too competitive. It can open a whole new world of arguments. Keep it clean people. 

Consider the bigger picture 

While duvet hogging can seem like a nuisance of galactic proportions, it’s important to keep things in perspective. If this is the biggest problem you face in your relationship, you’re probably doing alright! Many couples deal with much more serious challenges, and it’s worth remembering that a little bit of duvet-related discomfort pales in comparison to the joys of sharing your life with someone you love.  

Of course, that doesn’t mean you should suffer in silence… But if you’ve tried different strategies and nothing seems to work, maybe it’s time to accept that this is just one of those quirks that comes with the territory of sharing a bed? In the grand scheme of things, waking up a little chilly now and then is a small price to pay for the companionship and comfort of sleeping next to your favourite little duvet thief. Maybe.  

Final thoughts 

Sharing a bed with a duvet hogger can totally test your patience and frankly, your body’s ability to regulate temperature. But, with a little creativity, communication, and humour, you can find ways to cope with the nocturnal civil war, and ensure both you and your partner enjoy a good night’s sleep.  

Whether you opt for the double duvet solution, the tactical tuck-in, or simply keeping a spare blanket (or two) on hand, the key is to approach the situation with understanding and a willingness to compromise. After all, pobody’s nerfect (this was intentional), and sometimes love means letting your partner wrap themselves in the duvet burrito of their dreams, even if it means you need an extra layer or two on your side of the bed

So next time you wake up shivering in the middle of the night, resist the urge to grumble and instead, take a moment to appreciate the warmth of having someone special to share your bed with, even if they do steal all the covers.

Chris Hardy - Product Copywriter