Arguments to Expect When Moving in Together

You’re in a relationship, things are going well, and you’ve decided to take the next step and move in together.

While this is an incredibly exciting time, it can also come with its fair share of challenges. You’ll be around your partner day in and day out, which is great, but also means you may discover some of their previously unknown annoying habits (and maybe some of your own, too!).

To help prepare you and hopefully avoid any potential arguments, we decided to conduct a survey to find what couples argue about the most when living together.

Flat-pack fails

Building flat-pack furniture together really can test the strength of any relationship as you both try to tackle the hard-to-understand instructions in order to build a piece of furniture that somewhat resembles the picture on the box.

Of the 1000 people surveyed, over 28% admitted to arguing with their partner when building flat-pack furniture together (a). Our results also revealed that more men reported arguing with their partners during this activity when compared to women (b). In fact, when we asked all-male couples if they argued during flat pack builds, almost 58% said yes, the highest of any couple type (c).

If you feel this could be a potential problem for you and your partner, consider choosing the tasks that each of you is better at. If they prefer to read instructions, hand that part over to them while you try and find all the screws and bolts. Alternatively, some companies will even offer to build the item for you. 

With Bensons, for just £20, we offer an assembly service on all divan beds. We’ll put it together, attach your headboard (if it’s purchased and delivered with your bed) and even get rid of all unwanted packaging afterwards. Giving the job over to someone else could be the perfect way to save yourself some time, and a potential argument with your other half!

Television wars

Moving in together means you can share many things – bills, your music collections, and a late-night tub of ice cream, but what about the TV remote? What happens when you want to catch up on the latest box set, but your partner wants to watch the footie?

Of the 698 people in a relationship we surveyed, we found the average couple watches TV together two nights a week. This could mean at least two nights of frustration while you try to come to a compromise.

When it comes to which couples argue more over the TV remote, it seems the younger you are, the more arguments may occur. 30% of couples aged between 25 and 34 reported bickering about what to watch on TV at least one to two nights a week, compared with just over 3% of those aged over 55 (d).

So, if you and your partner are chalk and cheese when it comes to TV shows, it could be worth splitting up the week so that you each get to watch what you want to watch for at least a couple of nights a week. You never know, you may end up enjoying that new wildlife documentary your partner seems to love so much.

But if you really can’t bear to compromise, why not save yourself the hassle and simply invest in another TV? At Bensons for Beds, we offer a wide range of TV beds . All you need to do is press a button and the TV will appear at the foot of your bed. So, while your partner is cheering on their favourite team in the living room, you can be catching up with your favourite Netflix show while snuggled up in your duvet - what could be better?

Annoying habits

There’s nowhere to hide when you move in with your partner. All those habits you’ve both managed to keep under wraps while living separately suddenly come to light when you share a house. They may seem small initially, but those little habits could become the cause of countless squabbles over the months and years you live together.

We asked 1000 people their opinion on which common habits they feel are the most annoying. Options included habits such as leaving the toilet seat up or leaving hair bobbles and pins all over the house. Our results showed that not cleaning up after personal grooming, such as after beard trimming or toenail cutting, ranked as the most annoying habit with over 54% of the vote (e). This was closely followed by the annoying habit of leaving clothes everywhere (f).

Communication is key to overcoming these frustrations. Tell your partner as soon as you see these habits occurring how it makes you feel when you see their beard hairs covering the bathroom sink or clothes strewn all over the house. This will hopefully be enough to make them change their ways.

Alternatively, if they claim the reason for leaving clothes all over is because there isn’t enough storage in the bedroom, you may want to consider investing in additional storage. Ottomans, an extra chest of drawers and under the bed storage are all great ways to maximise space for you both – and it no longer gives them an excuse not to put their clothes away!

Household chores

Our survey results revealed many couples regularly bicker about household chores. Of the 698 people in a relationship surveyed, cleaning and laundry were the two tasks couples said they argued about the most on a weekly basis (g). This seems to be more of an issue with younger adults, with over 34% of those aged 16 to 24 claiming they argue with their partner about laundry every week, compared to just over 12% of adults over the age of 55 (h).

If you seem to be the only one doing the ironing, putting a wash on, or cleaning the bathroom while your partner puts their feet up, it could be time to have a chat about it. Consider rotating all household tasks on a monthly basis so that neither of you gets fed up with doing the same chore day after day. Having a rota system displayed clearly on a whiteboard in the kitchen is a great way to keep things fair and hopefully avoid arguments.

Sleeping easy

When you first move in together you may find it cute when you have to nudge your partner to get up after the fifth time of snoozing their alarm. You may even find it endearing when they cuddle up to you and steal your side of the bed. But after a while, these little habits could begin to get on your nerves and may actually disrupt your sleep.

Our survey results showed that over 25% of the men we surveyed said their partner steals their quilt at least one to two nights a week, compared to just over 15% of women (i). We also found that once again it seems it is the younger generation that struggles the most with these problems as over 20% of adults aged 16 to 24 said their partner steals their side of the bed between three and four nights a week, compared to just over 3% of adults over 55 (j).

If you are struggling to sleep easily with your partner, it could be worth investing in a new bed setup. If space is an issue, buying a king or super king size bed can give you the extra room you need. Perhaps consider the IGel Advance mattress , which uses AdvantEdge foam and individually encased pocket springs to help prevent you and your partner from rolling into each other during the night. It’s also temperature regulating, so you could find it helps stop you getting too hot when sharing a bed every night, too.

Shop iGel Advance Mattress

We also have a great range of adjustable beds , which could be the perfect solution if you prefer a softer open coil mattress while your partner prefers a mattress that’s firmer and pocket sprung. And if you’re unsure which is the best type for you, try our unique sleeppro® service to help you find one that’s right for you.

Discover sleeppro®

If snoring is the main problem for you and your partner, our sleep expert Dr Sophie Bostock wrote a brilliant article on how best to prevent snoring which might help you get back to having a restful night’s sleep.

We hope this insight into the typical arguments that occur when moving in together will help you feel more prepared and hopefully avoid any relationship hiccups. If you’re curious to learn more, check out our recent article [LB1] where we explored who typically gets more space in the bedroom.

Sources & Research:

• (a) Of the 1000 people asked ‘Do you and your partner argue when building flat-pack furniture?’ 285 answered ‘yes’, 261 said ‘no’, 152 said ‘we’ve never built flat pack furniture together’ and 302 said ‘N/A I don’t have a partner.’
• (b)Of the 492 males we surveyed, 166 of them answered ‘yes’ when asked ‘Do you and your partner argue when building flat-pack furniture?’ Of the 508 females we surveyed, 119 of them answered ‘yes’ when asked ‘Do you and your partner argue when building flat-pack furniture?’
• (c)40 of 69 all-male couples surveyed answered ‘yes’ when asked ‘Do you and your partner argue when building flat-pack furniture?’
• (d)39 of 130 respondents aged 25-34 answered ‘1-2 nights per week’ when asked ‘How many nights per week, if at all, do you and your partner argue over the TV remote/what to watch on television?’ 9 of 240 respondents aged 55+ answered ‘‘1-2 nights per week’ when asked ‘How many nights per week, if at all, do you and your partner argue over the TV remote/what to watch on television?’
• (e)541 of 1000 respondents answered ‘not cleaning up after personal grooming, for example, cutting toenails, trimming beard etc’ when asked ‘How annoying or not annoying are the following common habits of partners?’
• (f)533 of 1000 respondents answered ‘leaving clothes everywhere’ when asked ‘How annoying or not annoying are the following common habits of partners?’
• (g)191 of 698 respondents answered ‘weekly’ when asked ‘How often, if at all, do you argue with your partner about cleaning. 180 of 698 respondents answered ‘weekly’ when asked ‘How often, if at all, do you argue with your partner about laundry?’
• (h)34 of 99 respondents aged 16-24 answered ‘weekly’ when asked ‘How often, if at all, do you argue with your partner about laundry?’ 29 of 240 respondents aged over 55 answered ‘weekly’ when asked ‘How often, if at all, do you argue with your partner about laundry?’
• (i)96 of 373 male respondents answered ‘1-2 nights per week’ when asked ‘How many nights per week, if at all, does your partner steal the quilt?’ 51 of 325 female respondents answered ‘1-2 nights per week’ when asked ‘How many nights per week, if at all, does your partner steal the quilt?’
• (j)21 of 99 respondents aged 16-24 answered ‘3-4 nights per week’ when asked ‘How many nights per week, if at all, does your partner steal the bed?’ 9 of 240 respondents aged over 55 answered ‘3-4 nights per week’ when asked ‘How many nights per week, if at all, does your partner steal the bed?’ ‘